Physician Healer

Issue 14 Championing Peace

¹Championing Peace

Whenever I walk into the exam room, the first thing I do is look at the patients sitting in the room as if I hadn’t seen them in years, and with sheer excitement in my voice I’d greet them with a hello and ask how they’re feeling. And, even if they are not in a good place, they forget for just those few minutes why they’re here.

I’m frequently asked how is it possible that I’m in a good mood all the time. I’m not. It’s not that I’m particularly elated 24/7–that would be amazing actually; but regardless, I’ve always put on a smiley face ever since I could remember. I just figured that no one would want to see a sad or angry face, right? Whether it may be true that some days I need to pretend a bit harder to be happy and other days it just flows, I am ever cognizant that the patients come in to see me because they are not feeling well and so for me to express anything other than a wonderful Cheshire Cat grin would be a crime. Today, what motivates me internally to smile a genuine smile of happiness is a constant effort of working to bring my awareness of the present moment to the forefront and doing my best to feel grateful.

Most mornings as soon as I get out of bed, I am in a state of reluctance—offended that I have to get out of my comfortable bed, disrupting the whole peaceful order of things. A voice inside my head pushes me on, whispering,

“You can do it,”

and I manage to stand up reluctantly and push through, exclaiming with my arms up the air,

“I’m grateful to be alive and for this day! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

I then take a few minutes to do stretches while listening to a new podcast of some topic of interest and then I’ll go over to my desk and open up my journal and start listing at least 3 (any) things I was truly grateful for. I then conclude my entry by putting forth the intention, “I’m grateful that my day played out smoothly.”

In the past, showing up in high spirits was really to challenge myself to not let on what I was really feeling. And, there was no point in unnecessarily upsetting the patient either. Experiencing peace within you is a state of being; it is not an emotion, so there is no opposite to peace. This is probably one of the hardest things to achieve because most of us believe that something has to happen first before we can “feel peaceful.” I never understood the meaning of this statement until recently.

In the past, I used to think that the opposite of peace was chaos; but I realized that peace stands alone as its own neutral status. It is like joy and love. For instance, joy is not synonymous with happiness or excitement. The latter 2 are conditional and require an object, an action, an event, or a reason to produce the emotion. The same refers to love. Love is not a nervous excitement. It is a peaceful knowing. The opposite of love surprisingly enough is not hate, though these 2 words are frequently used and expressed as words diametrically opposed at either ends of the spectrum.

Emotions tend to follow the “If-then” model for most people. IF this happens, THEN I’ll be a certain way. The emotions are tied to a specific condition and that our feelings are controlled and determined by some outcome. The problem with this model is that your happiness is linked to a specific goal that must come to fruition before you attain that happiness. You are essentially giving away your power to some thing or event that is in the future without knowing whether or not that result will occur. So, how can we feel good on our own without having to rely on something else?

Over the years, through my studies and interviews with people, I constructed the following (partial) list of life rules to navigate peace in my own life:

1) I can choose to be anything and anyone at any time.

2) No one can make me feel badly without my permission.

3) Allowing others to bother me in any way is giving away my power to them.

4) Things are never done to me. Things just are as they are, and exist on their own terms.

5) I have no control over anything in my life except my decision to experience peace, love, and joy.

6) As soon as I set a goal, I immediately release it so that my daily actions are not influenced by the outcome.

7) Life is not about the destination but about the journey or process itself. The destination can always change before or after you reach it.

8) I am not responsible for someone else’s feelings.

9) The opinion of others about me is not my concern; it is theirs.

10) The criticism directed towards me from others refers to themselves, not me.

11) People call out things in others what they recognize in themselves.

12) If what you do makes waves and disrupts others, you are on the right track and making a difference in this world.

13) Individuals who fear you just do not understand you.

14) Those who do not understand are threatened by you.

15) Expect your circle of friends to change when you change; the right tribe always finds you.

16) You are never alone as long as you are comfortable sitting with yourself in silence.

17) Depression is caused by wishing to be there when you are here and thinking you can change certain circumstances when you really cannot.

18) “Now” is the only space that exists. The past cannot change nor move anymore. The future has not moved yet and is affected by the actions of the present moment.

19) Release your need to achieve a specific result. Focus and enjoy your daily actions.

20) If you get there, great; you were lucky. If you don’t, even better; it means you were meant for something magnificent.

21) Life is not about getting; it’s about letting. Life is not about chasing; it’s about surrendering to the abundance that is already here.

22) We are all geniuses and heroes, except very few of us realize this.

23) For every one thing we label as negative, there are at least 100 things we are grateful for.

24) No need to wait to be happy. Be happy now. There is no outcome before you experience joy. Joy is the outcome.

25) The more grateful you are, the more the universe gives you to be grateful for.

26) Whenever I am irritated by others, it is because they are triggering the avatars I need to release.

27) If I live each day with the intention of keeping the status quo, I will actually regress for the world changes with or without me.

28) Learning something new everyday keeps the brain sharp and prevents cognitive decline.

29) Avoid using your mind to second guess what your heart has already decided on.

30) Surrendering is not giving up; it’s about knowing that everything you need is already here and allowing yourself to receive.

31) Although I have no control over any outcome in my life, I do know I have control over my gratitudes and to bring attention to the present moment.

32) Success is measured by 4 sets of parameters—your mind-set, health-set, heart-set, and soul-set. You are not considered successful if one is missing.

33) Any new habit requires 66 days to install at which point it becomes easier to do it than not.

34) Pay attention to the mental chatter so that you can get navigate through it. There is no escape from it not even by any means of distraction.

35) Mental chatter is that voice in your head that is asking you what’s for dinner while someone is talking to you about something else.

36) Spending quality time with family and friends is about learning, reading, and sharing ideas that make you feel alive. Wasting quality time is about complaining about your job, your life, or gossiping about others.

37) Take time to connect with nature. It is soul cleansing and clears your mind.

38) Procrastination is self hatred.

39) Suffering does not begin with the event; it begins with our labeling of that event as bad or terrible.

40) Expectations, judgments, reactions, emotions and labels are illusions and must be released in order to experience peace.

41) Walk away and stay away from energy vampires. These are the individuals that exhaust you.

42) The universe never gives you what you want. It gives you who you are.

43) Spending time in silence, solitude and stillness allows you to remember who you are.

44) Hard times are nothing more than growth in wolf’s clothing.

45) Expect and accept difficult times. They are important life lessons.

46) Education without execution is a delusion.

47) Everyday is basically an opportunity to complete a set of assignments with our best effort. (Some assignments resonate with us and some do not, and that’s ok).

48) As often as you can, leap into the unknown, into what’s uncomfortable to become your best self. Have courage, for you will only see what you will lose but not all that you will gain.

49) Take responsibility for your decisions and though you don’t control much in this life, know that you always have a choice. Avoid playing victim and blaming others or the situation for your misery. Own your gratitudes.

50) If what you do does not ignite passion and joy within then you are wasting precious time. Life is fairly short.

51) If you find that you cannot be happy for the success of others but are instead envious, sit in reflection and ask what you can do to love yourself more.

52) Keep promises you’ve made to yourself.

Remember that I am not an expert by any means in all that is zen; these are just tools I’ve gathered along the way. I’m human and there are days I struggle a little more with the past, pain, stress, and doubt, like the next person. I have trouble at times making decisions, trying to figure out which one would give me the most ideal outcome. And, I find that I have to just sit quietly for as long and as many times I need to, and surrender to the universe before I get this intuition that is the answer.

I also know that what works smoothly is usually the right answer and things that present with one obstacle after another may be a sign that you have to take a different direction. But, I also know through all that I’ve learned that as long as I have passion, persistence, grit and love for self and others and a desire to be of service to others, I am living my path to an eventual end that will have no regrets. I wish that for all of you, too.

Look at everything that comes into your life as gifts. Some gifts are wrapped in gorgeous paper while others are wrapped in ugly paper. But, when you open them all, they are what you need on your travels whether it be now or in the future. Trust in the process and always do your best to enjoy the journey.

On a different and more mystical note, yesterday in the early evening as I was picking up some lemons off the grass, I saw what I initially thought was a leaf that was falling from the tree branches above. It dropped with such force. But to my surprise, it was a singular butterfly, just the one, not perched on a flower but on the dirt directly in front of me a few feet from where my Sammie was buried 4 weeks ago, shy of one day. (Please refer to Issue 11 titled “Grief”).

Curious and wanting to believe, I began talking to my new friend and asking about the particulars of Sammie and Ned, our beloved dog, as well as all the others who had crossed over. Then, out of the blue, this baby dragonfly with these huge bug eyes (no pun intended) appeared and perched on the rubber boundary next to me.

I looked around to see if there were others. There were not. I even asked my friend here out loud if there were friends nearby. It just felt pleasantly odd, a surreal stillness. After a great deal of time had passed, I told my friend that I would go inside the house and grab my phone to take a photo, and that I hoped it was ok. I came out and he was still there in the same place while the dragonfly had left the scene. I took turns squatting and standing, changing my position to get the best angles for a few clips and photos and he just remained there.

Then, my daughter came out and I motioned her to come and check out this lonely butterfly that literally just dropped in from somewhere. As soon as she was not more than 7 feet away, my friend flew to the lawn on the other side and then flew away. My daughter chuckled, waved goodbye and remarked,

”I guess Sammie is still afraid of me.”

I don’t propose to know what these events really mean. I am a believer that there are many things in the universe that are unseen and unknown, some we have yet to see and know and some we may never see or know at the moment. But, I’m open to whatever there is. The important thing is that the experience transported me to a good place and I felt this peace come over me. It felt really good to believe that it was Sammie’s message telling me he was doing great and that all of our family and buddies who passed were also fine (Ah! Sorry, getting a bit teary-eyed)!

I used to believe that life was about being happy. It really isn’t that. I thought it was about doing everything I can so that I can achieve happiness. It isn’t. It’s about this overwhelming peace that comes over you and stays with you and surrounds you. Suddenly, you’re not afraid or worried because you somehow just know that it’s all right. We are all searching for peace, not happiness. Peace is not about a scavenger hunt. Peace is realizing that the treasure chest has always been inside you this whole time and that all you have to do is lift the lid.

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1. Transformational Reminders:

1) As you go through the life rules in this issue, which ones are you already doing and which ones do you feel you need work on? Write your answer in your journal.

2) Remember to write down your dreams if you remember them.

3) An extra project to create more focus in your life—make a simple chart with 3 columns with the following categories: Experiences, Growth, and Contribution. Write down all the different things in life you’d like to experience, what you need to do to grow in order to have those experiences, and how you would contribute to your community. Have this in a place where you will look at it everyday. You can update it each week or each month (MIQ exercise from V. Lakhiani).

Until next week, thank you for reading and I hope this issue gave you meaning and insight. Please feel free to share with others and let me know in the comments section if you have question.

For more information please visit our website at www.DesertMeridiam.com or www.AmayaMedical.com