Physician Healer

Issue 36 Coming Home

Coming Home

This week, well actually, for almost a year now, I’ve been thinking a lot about what home really means. When I was little, it simply meant my house where I lived with my parents and brother. Coming home meant after school or any activity, I would physically return to the dwelling of my family and have dinner, watch TV, practice the piano and do my homework. It was simple. Today, some parts of me still yearn, from time to time, for that simplicity. As my mind wanders, I think to myself, if only I could travel back in time and experience that once again. I would so love that.

I would go back with new eyes, new ears, a new heart. I would be more appreciative, more grateful for everything no matter what. I would tell and demonstrate to so many people and my pets how much I loved them and hug them. But, that’s just it. The life journey for all of us is a process. It is called a “journey” for a reason, because that’s what it is. It involves stages of experiences with other people, with nature, with events, but mostly they engage a plethora of thoughts with ourselves, our triumphs and failures, our happy moments and sad times. So, as much as I can say I will go back in time with more gratitude, that feeling is only possible because I had to learn about them along the way, bumping into everything, some hurt a little, others, a lot.

I’ve learned that since it is necessary for my soul to thrive, I must stop beating myself up about the past that I cannot change. How many times I’ve chastised myself with questions and comments, such as

“Why didn’t I say that when I had the chance?” or “Why didn’t I just get brave and do that one thing that could have made a difference?”

We have to remember that believing the premise that that one thing we missed doing would be pivotal in producing some monumental change to a more favorable outcome is erroneous. The probability of being that is unlikely. This is all in our egoic mind’s imagination as the ego is trying desperately to keep us in our old small story. One of the mental tools I remember is that if I was supposed to say or do all that I thought I should do, I would have done it. It would have happened. The fact that those things imagined did not happen only means that it was not meant to happen. End of story.

Another mental tool is whatever happened happened because it led me to where I am now in the present moment. Whether I feel it is a good thing or a bad thing is irrelevant. Mindful Columbia University business school instructor Dr. Srikumar Rao teaches his clients that although pain can be inevitable, suffering is optional. Pain is an action that we do not control. The suffering is created by our minds by labeling events as things happening to us to do us in or that they are bad things, creating and recreating scenarios that did not happen and will never happen because the past is the past.

This is also what spiritual leader Dr. Michael Beckwith reminds us, that we are not victims. The universe does not do things to us. Things just happen. When we meditate enough, we reach a level of conscious awareness that tells us things happen as neutral events and they can happen through us as if we were conduits. They can also be part of a manifested reality through the famous law of attraction, in that whatever happened did, because the universe is getting us where we want to be. This, of course, is what the famous book, The Secret talks about.

Michael Beckwith also dives deeper into the very meaning of the law of attraction. It is key to remember that although we can create vision boards and the intentional future we desire, by truly feeling and behaving that we already are living in that future, what is more important to remember is that WE ATTRACT WHO WE ARE. The world mirrors who we are and so the universe tends to give us what we need, not necessarily what we want. Through enough meditation, eventually what we want matches the energetic frequency of who we are, at which moment the universe then gives us both what we desire and what mirrors who we are.

We frequently underestimate the power we all have and can further harness with time. This is not the same type of power the majority of individuals at the present time believe in. They are still under the illusion that they control their destiny through mental strategizing and brute force and will power. Power that comes from the true essence of who we are helps us seamlessly and effortlessly navigate the current climate of this culturescape by just “being” who we truly are. It has nothing to do with how much we are “doing.”

The times I get into trouble believing the egoic mind convincing me that I could have done things differently and therefore would have effected a desired outcome are the times I didn’t get enough sleep (scientific literature says we need an average of 7-8 hours each night), or if I’m physically exhausted; but, most interestingly, it predominantly occurs most often if my mind is not clear of the noise and clutter (especially if I’ve shorthanded my meditation time that day).

I have spent a good portion of my younger life pleasing others even when it went against what the core of my being wanted. Many times my body would share with me how it needed rest and intellectually (aka egoically) I would ignore it for what I thought was a bigger thing that needed to happen. It seemed so important to me back then that the external world approved of me, that perhaps I would feel that I was good enough if I collected enough validation points from others.

Probably the biggest hurdles with which I had to reckon is bending over backwards to help others and then at the end of the day, realizing that not everyone is grateful or appreciate all that you have done, but that some may actually inflict harm towards you. Through clarity of mind via meditation, I came to realize that as long as I believed that I had gone above and beyond, it was enough that I believed that I was enough and did enough. Waiting for praise and compliments from others could be a forever wait for a door that would never open for me. I knew I had to turn around and open another door, a door meant only for me. I came to understand that expecting a caterpillar to know it can someday fly when it has not made the connection that it, too, will someday cocoon into a butterfly, was an unreasonable expectation.

In fact, all expectations are unreasonable.

Expectations imply that there are “should” statements.

Expectations imply that there is a right and wrong way of thinking and doing things.

Expectations are as unreasonable as judgments, reactions and labels.

This is the inner work I do everyday, via meditation, releasing all expectations and meditation is available to everyone. Like others, I, too, expect a certain level of decency in behavior from others, but that is an unreasonable request. Perhaps their level of consciousness is not the same as mine. I find that in my observation, not judgment, of people, many live with the feeling that they are not enough and don’t have enough and are not conscious of it. They tend to blame others for their misery. These individuals are on a never-ending hamster wheel of searching for approval and validation from their family, friends, and society when all that it is is just a story. It isn’t real.

Much of the current personal growth literature talks about our identity and personality as structures created by the ego. Both identity and personality depend on remembering aspects of our past. If we are always present, knowing that each present moment is new and that there is no precedence, then technically, we have no identity. For example, my name identifies me, but that would also depend on my remembering the name I was given. Any memory is based on the past. If we were truly in the present moment at all times, we would simply “be” and have no name. Does this make sense? This concept took me some time to understand. Living this way sets us free, allows us to fully sense our inner joy that is always there.

And then, there are those who find their true essence of spirit battling it out with the egoic mind but are unaware that an old pattern, an old story, wants to die to allow something better and greater to emerge. These individuals are at constant war with themselves, which creates discord, frustration and anxiety. Once these individuals realize that through sitting quietly and focusing on the silence being present, they will receive a sense of what is really going on, and a surrender happens as they release their grasp of the past story and pattern to allow something new and unknown to show up. It is said that the universe gifts you things that are better than what you wished for. Whatever seems illogical is weirdly always the way.

At this point of my journey, I can now see that home was always right here with me. There was never any traveling, nothing to “come home” to. There was never any home to wait for. Home is never about a location. Home is not about receiving external approval. Home is indeed where the heart is as the saying goes. But, it is also so much more than that. Home is sensing a coherence of mind, body and spirit as we navigate this existence. Home is knowing I am enough as I am. Home is knowing that everything is temporary and that is ok. Home is a deep sense of knowing that I am not crazy just because I think differently from the masses about the world around me. Home is knowing my worth and that my service to others is my contribution of the gifts with which I was born. Once we come to see that everything in every moment is perfect, then we have indeed come home at last.

Meditation and Relaxation

Please refer to the previous issues for a review on a method of breathing and using Meridian meditation with intentional statements to bring a state of balance into the mind, body and spirit. Remember that there are many more than 8 or 9 points of Meridian endpoints throughout the entire body, but these are easy to remember and so that anyone can quickly get started and enjoy the benefits. Below is a brief summary of what Meridian therapy is followed by photographic instructions demonstrated by my daughter. Of note, I taught this method to her 2nd and 3rd grade classes that she attended and the kids had so much fun, but unfortunately her 4th grade class missed out due to the pandemic.

Reminders

1) Journal daily—again, this is not a diary in which you write about all the the events you found unpleasant. If you do write about unpleasant events, follow them with what lesson did that teach you and what action would you take next.

2) Document your dreams in your journal—it is said that Elias Howe, the inventor of the sewing machine, received his inspiration to design the eye of the needle near the point rather than the top from a nightmare he had in which he was being attacked by tribesmen with spears that appeared that way.

3) Read something new from a book or article, learn a new skill or listen to a podcast for at least 15 to 20 minutes a day. Learning something new everyday allows the brain to grow.

4) Do some light stretches and exercises for 15 to 20 minutes a day. Personal growth author and speaker Robin Sharma suggests that sweating in the morning releases BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor) that helps repair your brain cells.

5) Spend a minimum of at least 15 to 20 minutes (preferably 45 to 60 minutes or more) in meditation each day. My recommendation has always been to find a comfortable chair or sofa and sit without leaning on a pillow. This is especially important for those who cannot sit comfortably on the floor on a yoga mat. I’ve actually had people tell me that they gave up learning to meditate because they couldn’t sit a certain way that they saw in most programs and classes. If you do fall asleep, no worries. It is called “medi-sleep” which is a restful form of sleep. You will still reap the benefits of relaxation and stress reduction.

Until next time, thank you for reading. If you found even just one aspect meaningful, then it would have served its purpose. COMMENT if you have questions or anything to add. Please SHARE this article with someone you feel could benefit from reading it and remember to SUBSCRIBE if you haven’t already so that each new issue will come directly to your inbox every week.

With love and gratitude,

Celeste Amaya, MD