There Are No Coincidences
The things that happen to us or for us, do they happen because of what we do or are they all by chance? I’ve thought about this statement from time to time, but definitely more so over the past several years. For example, who are these people we’ve known all of our lives, the people we’ve just met and the people who have moved away or are no longer in our circle? Are these changes and arrangements regarding our relationships random or by design? And, if they are by design, who’s the engineer behind them?
It’s not just about the people in our lives. Consider all the events that happen to us, whether we labeled them good or bad. Who orchestrated them? Are other people trying to do us in or help us out? Were we somehow directly or indirectly responsible and caused them to happen? Does the universe control all that happens or are we in some way responsible? Is there merit to the saying about being at the right place at the right time?
After years of reflection I have concluded that on the surface, it appears to be a little bit of everything, a sprinkle from the universe and a sprinkle from us. On a deeper level, the things that happen to us or around us are more complex than we can possibly imagine.
Have you ever felt that some days it seems as though everything is working out in your favor and other times it’s like everything turned out wrong? You blame it on having good or bad luck, but is there really such a thing?
I’ve always been curious when seemingly “bad” or “good” things happen to us; of course, we never question the favorable events, but we are perplexed and bothered by the negative occurrences. These days, I am more convinced that certain things happen because they were meant to so they just do and not because there was some hidden agenda of the Universe or that it was purposely directed towards me as an innocent bystander. Spiritual literature talks about the fact that things don’t happen to us; they are just part of the terrain of our life’s journey. It also teaches us that there are no such things as bad or good and that descriptions like those are illusions of the mind labeling and judging, all created by the egoic bodyguard of our mind.
Knowing more about interpreting these things helps us remove stress and anxiety by realizing that things “just are.” During my lessons I emphasize that things are how they are and things become however they become and none of that would have had anything to do with us. Michael Beckwith points out that there are 4 levels of spiritual awareness and that most of us are at the lowest level in which we play victim. It is the “ to me” stage or also called the victim stage.
“Why are things happening to me? Who can I blame?”
And, here we shirk any responsibility that we had anything to do with a negative outcome. We tell others and convince ourselves that we didn’t have a choice. Instead, we tend to ask the question,
“Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?”
We play the blame game, blaming anyone but ourselves for the end result by finding someone to blame for our miserable situation. In other words, we feel better if someone else is responsible for our unhappiness.
The second level is the manifestor stage and is characterized by our awareness that we have the power to make things happen by way of emotional conviction with visualization of already having whatever it is we want. It is also known as the “by me” stage when you realize that we can “will” things to happen and as a result, control and cause a specific desired outcome. The iconic book “The Secret” illustrates this phenomenon.
The third level of awareness deals with the realization that things can happen through us when we serve as channels. We can choose not to participate in actively manifesting but just exist where we are and the universe brings us the right things that bring about peace, love and joy, which are the 3 states of Being (Eckhart Tolle) that is accessible only in the present moment. This is appropriately called the channeler/conduit state or “through me” stage, when we understand that we can just surrender to all that is happening around us by letting things through and allowing whatever to happen to us or for us, trusting deeply that this is the way.
The last or fourth stage is the highest level in spirituality, which is synonymous with consciousness. Most would consider that Buddhist monks are here. Also called the “as me” stage, this is where we understand that we lead a seamless existence with everything. This is when we know in the deepest sense what we are, our unique purpose, and who we are, our inner identity. This is a place where you realize there is no separation between us and everything and everyone else, that nature is us and we are nature. We recognize that abundance is already here.
Many people never awaken or become aware and live their entire lives like pinballs in a pinball machine, allowing themselves to be thrown out there, reacting emotionally to anything and everything they bump into as they let themselves get bounced around passively. These individuals rarely report joy in their lives; they are the infinite chasers of happiness, fleetingly experienced at best and instead of taking responsibility for their choices, they blame the world and that life dealt them a bad hand. Sadly, these people never live out their full potential but spend their entire lives envying and gossiping about others while comparing themselves to everyone else.
Fortunately, an increasing number of people are doing their part to elevate their sense of awareness of purpose—asking why they are here, learning to feel gratitude for simply being and how they can best serve others? From the stage of active manifestation to that of surrendering of one’s being to what-is and the importance of the present moment, we are slowly learning, through a feeling of knowing that we can choose our joys, our peace, and our loves.
A couple months ago, I spoke to a patient who was convinced that “bad” things happened to her because of bad luck. I told her about life’s situations revolving around placing us in necessary locations for particular reasons tied into our service to others. I believe that part of what happens to us is not by chance but by strategic placement of people due to circumstances.
For instance, let’s say I had planned to go grocery shopping in the morning and the sink flooded. Suddenly, my location changes and I am at home waiting for the service person. Consequently, the people with whom I originally would’ve interacted will no longer see me at that time. Perhaps it is because I was meant to meet up with the service person who either had knowledge I needed or I had knowledge she needed.
This is one of many reasons why when things happen, we can avoid judging the situation with bad and good labels. All events are essentially neutral. They are part of the terrain of life. Our egoic brain labels things to give them the illusion of meaning. This is always what the egoic mind wants. Things are the way they are and things become however they will become and none of that would have had anything to do with us.
I have come to realize that we really do control nothing and that there are no such things as coincidences. The wheels of the universe are never random either. Everything we experience is planned by design. As an assignment, the next time you think something bad (but not life-threatening) happened to you, step away from it mentally and instead of asking why this is happening to you, turn it into a project and say instead,
“Hm, so that happened. Ok. I am curious where this will lead. What lesson am I supposed to learn here?”
Avoid the automatic fear, worry, anger, and frustration and replace that with discovering what lesson you are supposed to learn. Everything that happens in our lives is meant to happen. This is also why level 2 manifestations do not always give you what you want. You are always given what you need. So, if what you need aligns with the Universe, it would seem as if the stars are on your side. There are no coincidences, just life happening.
Transformational task reminders:
1) Sit in meditation for at least 1 hour each day. You can do movement-types of meditation also but make sure you squeeze in the stillness kind. Remember the noise in your head is not really you but stuff trying to get out. Don’t avoid it. Don’t be afraid of it. The more noise that’s in your head, the more you have to sit. It’s the only way to let it out. Much of spiritual literature tells us that meditation is one of the few, if not only, methods of attaining a life of being—love, peace and joy.
2) Remember to write in your journal everyday, listing at least 5 gratitudes, 1 win, 1 next new step, any dreams recalled, and any insight you have received that came from just knowing intuitively, not from reading it somewhere.
3) Practice your “Right Now” exercises in which you set alarms throughout the day to do them—paying attention to your breathing, heartbeat, gratitude for being alive and for nothing at all. You can also look out the window and list what you see or better yet, if weather permits, step outside and place your hand on the bark of a tree or feel the leaves between your fingers. Try sitting outside with your eyes closed and breathe. Take note of the smells, noises, how the skin feels.
4) Eat healthy and optimize your gut health (more in future newsletters).
5) Take 10-15 minutes once or twice a day to stretch, breathe and/or do light yoga (more in future newsletters).
As time goes on and as you practice these techniques, you will change. At first, it will be subtle, almost unnoticeable. Then, those around you will comment that you seem different. All you know is that you feel more peaceful. But, they’ll make you wonder until you actually allow yourself to believe it.
For more information about Dr. Celeste Amaya’s work, check out her website at www.amayamedical.com.
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