Physician Healer
Issue 40 Special Occasions
Special Occasions
Today as I was taking my late afternoon walk, I suddenly remembered a story this pastor once shared on a morning radio show in the desert. I shall elaborate. He said there was this woman who had this most beautiful dress tucked away safely in her closet. Every time the evening light kissed it, the perfectly aligned folds would shimmer and reflect this gorgeously delicious emerald that one would find in the deep forest if you looked hard enough.
Her family begged her often to wear it out whenever they had any type of social event, whether it was just a family celebration or a holiday with friends. Time and time again, she would think tonight is the night, take it out of the special place behind her ordinary work clothes, a tiny spot in a corner that she reserved in the closet for her precious garment, admire it, and then instantaneously change her mind and carefully put it back, taking extra care with her fingers to brush out all the wrinkles if any caught her eye.
One afternoon after she has returned home from running her usual errands, she felt unusually tired. In fact, it was a bit more than the run of the mill tiredness. She felt thoroughly exhausted. She decided to turn in early that evening thinking perhaps she had done too much cumulatively for the week. So, she said good night and walked into the bedroom.
As she climbed into bed, she smiled. It was the biggest smile she had ever afforded herself for she had a grand surprise planned for her family. Earlier that day in the late morning before she ran her errands, she made a reservation at her family’s favorite restaurant. It would be sort of her way to show her family how grateful she was for all that they were. Although it was a little farther away than the usual local spots, she found herself giddy with excitement despite her fatigue because she was going to finally wear that precious dress. Afterall, it was going to be a special occasion.
She never woke up.
I heard this story a great many years ago and still, I find the pastor’s words haunting.
I thought to myself, how many times have I done the same thing, waiting for the right time, the right place, to do something, to say something, to wear something, to use something. How many of you have said these very words as I have,
“Oh, let’s save that for a special occasion!”
I was guilty. I was one of those, waiting for some future whatever to do what was special.
Why is it not special right this moment? What are we really waiting for? What exactly does the special even look like? Why have we trapped ourselves from freedom with established conditions? Why would some future date be more glamorous than the one we have right now? Are we not worth it? Are we not special as we are? Are we not enough as we are? How do we define that magical “special moment?”
Perhaps this type of magic is not magic at all. And, it isn’t. It is an illusion many of us tell ourselves. Whenever we set standards and parameters for ourselves, we are sending a clear message that we are never enough as we are to receive. We are conditioning ourselves to believe that we need to be a certain way or a specific way. This method of thought steers is away from our true essence of who we really are. The fact is we really don’t—have to be any way at all. We should not have to be any way other than how we are showing up this very moment.
So, if there is something you’ve been postponing to do, stop waiting. Do it now. Give that hug you want to give. Say “I love you” to whomever or whatever this very moment. If you’ve been thinking about someone, make that visit. Take that vacation you’ve been obsessing in your mind over and over for the past 3 years. Travel to the ends of the earth. Make that phone call. Start that business. Learn that new language. Go to that meditation retreat. Go bungee jumping. Wear that dress, that shirt, those socks, that necklace, those shoes, that you’ve put aside for that “special occasion” because you are always special and worthy and every single moment is perfect.
More importantly, do we know how long we really have on earth?
There is a quote that’s always stuck with me from an old movie called, “Absolute Power” in which Ed Harris suspects that Clint Eastwood is the thief he’s been trying to catch. When Harris gets up to leave the diner after questioning him, he says,
“I’ll see you tomorrow,”
to which Eastwood replies,
“Tomorrow is promised to no one.”
Points to remember —
No matter how bad you think things are, it is just the mental chatter.
At any given moment you can decide to list 3 things you are grateful for—you can feel your breath, heart beat, and know you’re alive.
When you feel stressed, you can immediately place your hands on your belly and feel it expand as you inhale slowly through your nose, and track the breath down to the belly. You then exhale slowly through your mouth and squeeze your belly back towards your spine. Do this 3 times at least. This method of breathing lowers the cortisol levels in your body by signaling your brain that all is well.
Everything that is happening is temporary.
The next moment, the next story, is always better than the one before, even though we may not realize it at the time. The reverse is not true.
We cannot control or change others. We can only do that with ourselves.
Think of life as a series of mirrors. The external reflects who we really are internally.
If we feel we are not getting enough love, maybe we’re not putting out enough love.
If we feel we are being ignored and disrespected, maybe we are not attentive and respectful of ourselves.
The way others see us is exactly the way we see ourselves.
Things are not happening to us. We are not victims. Things just happen.
If something wasn’t supposed to happen, it wouldn’t have.
Every time we seek out the past or the future, we are blocking ourselves from receiving the new in the present moment.
Meditation is not about actively trying to clear the mind. It is not about getting back to the present moment. It’s about giving the mind and body a time of stillness, physical immobility. They know better than you what needs to be done. Your job is to let them do their job.
Thoughts during meditation don’t belong to you. They come and go. Things that belong to you like your arms and legs don’t come and go.
Think of thoughts as the garbage being taken out. If you get up and move, the garbage stays with you. It will smell.
The best answers and solutions are always the ones that appear illogical. Go with that.
Thank you for reading. Until next time, may you always be present and feel peace, love and joy from within.
With love and gratitude,
Celeste Amaya, MD
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Another inspiring message. Thank You!