Physician Healer
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Getting Out of My Own Way
“You need to get out of your own way.”
I remember reading this and hearing people talk about how we all have dreams and things we are passionate about doing and experiencing, but that some either just don’t know it yet or more frequently, some are standing in their own way. And, for those who yearn to realize their purpose and their dreams, they learned that the only force stopping them was indeed their own mind. I remember coming across the following:
“We are not who we think we are. We are who we think we are not.”
We don’t do what are heart tells us to do, because our old mindset filled with old programs generously given to us by our parents and other adults around us when we were growing up, tells us we lack the smarts or the skills, or the looks, or the right family background, education, or whatever else that serves to limit us. In other words, we are told that we just aren’t good enough. Just hearing that once as a child from an adult can have profound negative impact that follows the child into adulthood.
Into adulthood, we continue to persist in the false belief that we are just not capable and that all we have are pipe dreams. We are ridiculed for not getting “real” or that we are not facing reality. We are discouraged from daydreaming once we enter school. We find ourselves drowning in lack and limitation and we don’t even realize it. We dream and then we retreat, consumed with heavy thoughts of not being enough and that there is not enough supply out there for all of us. We are told we must compete with others. That is simply not true. This is the greatest lie.
One of the universal laws (Raymond Holliwell, Working With The Law) is the law of supply (and demand). We learn that there is more than enough for everyone if you permit yourself to desire, dream and believe, no matter what your present circumstances look like. As long as there is demand, there will always be supply. This is the reason why there is no need for competition or envy. We all have the power to create and decide. There are infinite possibilities in the universe.
Just because there are 100 people growing golden apples, you can still be the 101st to grow golden apples, because you are different from the others who have done it before you. Your apples will always be slightly different than the others, even if you wanted to copy them, because you are unique and so the apples will be cultivated differently. This concept can be challenging for many to accept. Remember the motto,
“If they can do it, I can do it and add my own touch.”
This is a Universal Law and it has always been that way. Somewhere along the way, most of us have been brainwashed to forget. Ralph Waldo Emerson stated,
“Envy is ignorance. Imitation is suicide.”
When someone first suggested the idea that we needed to get out of own way to allow our authentic selves to emerge, I remembered thinking that I knew what that meant. Then, through meditation and the passage of time, I thought that I really knew what that meant. And now, years later, I find myself at odds, struggling to experience the true essence of what it really means to get out of my own way.
I’m going to share my story as I hope that this will help others make sense of their life’s journey.
Several months ago, an educational and business opportunity to potentially serve a lot of people was introduced to me unexpectedly by a friend. Not surprisingly, I didn’t recognize it as such and dismissed it immediately and entirely. Why? It was never my field of study in the past, so it didn’t make any sense that it would be now. But, aren’t we supposed to learn new things and grow? Yeah, but in my transformational journey, I only saw myself learning new ways to meditate, to practice yoga, speak a new language, to play an instrument, or to cook a new recipe.
And then, when I looked at my journal entries since April of last year, I realized that all my gratitudes for everything I visualized in my future during my structured imagination sessions were coming true, one by one. Of course, the universe gifted them in a different order, and presented me with an opportunity to merge financial education with my health and wellness coaching. The only problem was that I was standing in my own way. I was always a student of science and so anything else seemed foreign to me. I should reject my friend’s suggestion.
Seriously, all this was going on in my head.
It was in my personal development study group that meets weekly, that this friend shared that she was now building her own business as part of a very large financial management company and that it would be a great fit for anyone who was interested in helping people with their dreams. She even suggested that I could merge my teachings in Meridian meditation and healing with financial education, so that there would be something for everyone. She said that even holistic and zen folks are living a human experience and could use financial education. I cringed at the thought.
The narrative in my head said that I was a science major and I am in healthcare. And, although I integrate holistics and meditation, my identity was still health, wellness and science. Finance and business — that is not who I am. That is not my identity. Note the word — identity. That was how I saw myself, my self-image. That was how I always saw myself, even though I knew that we are never our name, nor are we our job title. We are not what we do or have done in the past. We are what we choose at any present moment. We are spirit having a physical experience. New age philosophy has written and talked about this repeatedly.
Yet, I felt uncomfortable, so I stuck to my guns.
In the following weeks, I forgot about what my friend said and continued on with my daily journaling, studying, meditation and visualization work, helping me to release and surrender into the present moment without purposely working at it like some chore. I knew that my purpose had come through me long ago, which was to help others realize their authentic potential and help them allow purpose to come through. I never had to chase my purpose. I just always knew. But, I always hoped for increased fine-tuning of clarity as time went on, to let whatever I needed to “be” to just naturally come through when it was the right time.
Then, a few weeks ago, my friend repeated her suggestion again and asked me if I had given any further thought to what she said previously. I admitted I had not. Apologetically, I had quickly and completely dismissed the idea. My mind simply told me that I wasn’t interested. I realized later on that my self-image did not allow me to be ok with my friend’s idea. I was also way out of my comfort zone and did not realize it until later on.
A few days later, I remembered a saying that we don’t have to accept or reject a new idea and that it was ok to just keep it around and mull over it. However, just entertaining a desperately foreign idea was extremely uncomfortable. And then, it occurred to me, what if this was a chance for me to truly surrender to what-is in the present moment? What if all this was the answer to my ongoing desire to be more present, to be able to connect deeper with my higher self, so that I could receive messages that allowed me to flow and confidently release myself to my highest good?
The question I was never aware enough to ask was how would I know if the messages were from my higher self and not from my egoic mind, or my erroneously programmed mindset or my old paradigms? I would have to bypass my mind and feel it in my heart.
Without posing questions to myself, without requesting answers, as I continued sitting quietly in meditation every day like I had done so for some time now, without any expectation, I began to “feel” that this singular message kept entering my thoughts had significance. Yet, where was this resistance coming from?
Day after day, I just patiently kept sitting quietly with this and allowed my mind to clear itself. I relaxed my body and did my usual breathing cycles and just let myself “be” in the moment. And, for a long time, it didn’t seem like I was getting any insight into my next step, and I allowed it to be ok. Suddenly, it was as if an angel tapped my shoulder gently and whispered for me to open my mind. I figured out that my old paradigms convinced me that the subject of finances and money was “bad” and so they blocked my ability to receive any new ideas that could serve a different group of people in a different way.
Perhaps my resistance to accept new ideas came from arrogance, though I’d like to think that it was just unawareness that contributed to my insistence on solely serving others in a health and wellness capacity or maybe it was simply fear of entering unfamiliar territory, leaping out of the comfort zone, with my ignorance connected to my paradigms, and my old self-image that simply rejected change. After all, self-image is identity. How we see ourselves determines the way we shape our thoughts, personality, behavior and actions.
My last consideration was also that I was concerned about self-judgment that much of the current-day personal development literature states that individuals who have reached the 4th or higher dimensions of consciousness do not discuss money or finances, and so therefore, it would be poor form to talk about that.
I then finally realized that even though we are ascending to higher levels of consciousness through increased awareness of things beyond the physical world and to live in non-attachment, we are still experiencing life in a physical body, in a physical world and intelligent and “happy” handling of money, wealth and finances (Ken Honda, Happy Money) is still a necessary part of life.
These days, we read so much about the need to be the caterpillar going into the cocoon and from the darkness of transformation we become the butterfly. We are told we must aim to be that butterfly. We are constantly reminded to be cautious around caterpillars and to stay far away from them lest they pluck your wings and drag you back down to the ground.
But, what about the caterpillars who do dream about becoming the butterfly but are on the path of releasing their fear? Not all caterpillars are bad. There are lots of aware caterpillars that still need to forage for leaves on the ground to survive, while they continue their self-development journey before they enter the cocoon. So, in the meantime, perhaps I can help them find where the best leaves are and how to store and keep the leaves fresh, as well as educate them about the perks of being a butterfly.
Now, that’s something that never entered my mind. I shall continue to observe the present moment and see what continues to unfold for me from my higher self. So, if you find something unexpected at your doorstep, remember to avoid accepting or rejecting it. Mull over it and sit with it, even forget about it. Don’t let the illogical throw you off. It may be the sign you were waiting for all along.
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Until next time, be brave and have courage. Sometimes the higher self’s message is not what you expect or think it should be. It is usually even better than what you dreamt of. Sometimes none of it makes any sense. Follow it anyway. You never know where it will take you. Until next time, I wish you all grand adventures and abundance of much to feel grateful for every day!
With Love and Gratitude ❤️🙌
Dr. Celeste Amaya
