Physician Healer

Issue 31 Attachments

Attachments

If I were to ask you if having attachments was a blessing or a curse, what would your answer be? After last week’s newsletter on “Surrender,” some of the readers wrote to me asking if I had any suggestions on how to let go of things, people and ideas to which they remained attached that no longer served them. The answer is that there is no easy way or just one way. However, I do know that turning that into a project in itself only creates resistance. This creates a sense of “doing” instead of “being.” I still maintain that the most effective method is to just make time to do as much still-sitting as possible.

Comedian-turned-personal growth instructor and author, Kyle Cease, recently spoke about how we view everything that happens to us as a problem that we feel we need to overcome, fix or get out of. He brought up the point that “getting out of something” requires the constant need of “getting in.” Basically, the more we are committed to actively make our situation change, the more stuck we become.

Whenever we sit quietly and observe, listen to the silence around us or other ambient white noise, we tune in to that part of ourselves that we normally don’t access we when are actively thinking and moving about doing things. Sitting in observance of silence allows us to see what we don’t want to see, feel what we don’t want to feel, but it is through this purposeful experience that those very things the egoic mind has labeled as unpleasant will disintegrate and drift away from us. By not dealing with these aspects we find negative, we are essentially keeping them within us and pushing them down only to have them resurface at the next opportunity.

Since the pandemic, saying that I’ve noticed a great many changes is an understatement. But, I’m not referring to the obvious changes we hear about on social media or on TV. I’m diving into aspects of change that are of a more personal nature, one that addresses coherence of our mind, body and spirit. It is one that forces us to think about who we are and why we are here. Many I’ve talked to have mentioned that through the tumultuous changes in their lifestyle and daily habits, new things were emerging for them.

Some spoke of new jobs and some considered relocation. Some reconnected with extended family, old friends and other loved ones whom they couldn’t or didn’t make time to see. Others changed their career choices altogether and started up their own family business. For a good part of 2020 and continuing into 2021, people stepped into opportunities of self-discovery and embraced self-love, if you will. The external world put us on lock down and cut us off from our usual comfort zone patterns of escape.

Suddenly, we could not acquire distraction from the outside. We could not suppress our inner pain with quick fixes from our old hackneyed social networks. For the first time, most of us realized nothing would ever be the same. Things were never going to return to our old “normal.” For many of the individuals with whom I’ve interacted, this change has been a blessing in disguise. They shared with me that it was as if this heavy veil had been lifted and that they never knew how heavy it was before nor how much they couldn’t see through it.

For many, this has been an era of liberation of the soul or spirit, if you will, a chance to start over, a chance to build, a chance to ascend spiritually. Others have shared with me that they wonder if their internal restlessness, anxiety and uneasiness were due in part to feeling the energetic waves of sentiments from others globally. After all, what transpired since 2020 was not isolated but affected individuals in world-wide proportions.

I’ve had people tell me that they started reading more, learned a new instrument or 2, began painting, brushed up on a new language or simply took time to connect with themselves on a deeper level. Most were now listening more to what their bodies were telling them and even eating and conducting healthier, more fulfilling lives.

In the last few days, I’ve also received questions on how to removed irritating and annoying thoughts that have become a formidable pest. My solution is always to not actively “do” anything, but to “be” more, meaning even if you are currently a non-believer but let’s say you have a strong curious streak to your personality, formulate a 100-day challenge as a personal quest to be more still and silent for 10-20 minutes, a couple times a day. Meditation cannot be forced into our daily schedule, but rather meditation is positioned centrally in our lives and we work and live around meditation.

When we take time to just sit in the stillness and listen to the silence, we become aware of the white noises, the traffic outside and the dog barking next door. That’s ok. After a time, the noise no longer interferes with the sitting. Allowing the body to feel peace in a room full of noise is a significant accomplishment compared to finding an already quiet room.

Regarding attachments, attachment to things, objects and other possessions is derived from our belief that that thing, whatever it is, is more important and bigger than ourselves, that we are not enough without them. This does not mean that it is wrong to appreciate beautiful objets d’art. We need to be able to be and feel ok if we ever lose them, and to feel whole and complete as we are. The same goes to awards, titles, and accolades. Nothing external identifies who we are. We are not the things we have and own. We are not the things we won. We are all stand-alone beautiful and enough just as we are.

Our attachments to various things external to us are derived from the egoic need for identity. This is the “unconscious” nature of being. As soon as we know that none of us have an identity other than the realization that we exist here and now, we become “conscious.” Just the fact that we all have names creates a sense of separation, and with separation comes comparison; yet, much of the spiritual literature illustrates that the distinction between the 2 is clearly elucidated in the works by Eckhart Tolle and Gary Zukav. The core purpose of their teachings and philosophy is to awaken in all of us our true benevolent nature and knowledge of such is what ultimately empowers us without external help.

And, again, in order to begin releasing what we are attached to, what gives us our false identity, we need to sit in meditation and see all the attachments, feel all of them, sometimes with pain, resentment, regret, anger, sadness, disappointment, and so on, and see how they do break up into tiny pieces and slowly fall away from us. Everything in any moment that upsets us is a false story told to us by the egoic mind. By the same token, anything that sends us into extreme excitement is also a false story told to us by the egoic mind, but we don’t seem to mind these too much.

Finally, we need to avoid criticizing ourselves and our inadequacies; its existence is once more derived from the false stories the ego is feeding us. Even this is a form of attachment, the habit of labeling ourselves. How many times have we said,

“We should be more of this,” or “We should be more of that,” or “We are not enough this way or that way.”

One of the most challenging things is listening to others criticize us, but all we have to remember is whatever the ego is telling us, their ego is telling them the same fearful stories of not being enough. That is why whatever others say and think about us, they are seeing all of that in themselves. It is never about us, but about them. And, once we sit and meditate long enough for a period of time, we begin to see all of our old stories and patterns disappearing and the truth of who we are emerges from the cocoon.

Meditation and Relaxation Section

1) Find a place and sit comfortably. Close your eyes and take a slow deep breath in through your nose or through pursed lips and follow the breath down into your belly using a count of 7 seconds, then hold for 3.

2) Let the air out through pursed lips and squeeze the last bit of air with your diaphragmatic muscles (breathing muscles) using a count of 7 seconds, then hold for 3.

3) Repeat steps 1 and 2, 4 more times for a total of 5. You can also do more or less, if desired.

4) While breathing normally in a relaxed fashion, begin accessing the Meridian points reviewed in last week’s newsletter by using your finger tips (2 to 3 fingers) to gently tap each of the following areas for about 7-10 seconds:

—both sides of the chest or one side at a time

—the blades of the hands, one at a time, tapping the left blade with the right hand and vice versa

—under the nose above the upper lip (moustache area)

—under the lower lip at the dip (soul patch area)

5) New Meridian point today—the facial cheek bones right beneath the eye sockets and gently tap here with your finger tips for 7-10 seconds

6) Remember to alternate and switch out all the Meridian points so that you’re not accessing the same points for too long

7) Some examples of intentional statements while accessing the Meridian points (also see previous newsletters):

—Why do I feel so much love within me that I didn’t notice before?

—Why is there so much love around me that I didn’t notice before?

—Why is everyday so awesome that I didn’t notice before?

—Why do I feel so much joy that I didn’t notice before?

—Why am I more than enough that I didn’t notice before?

—Why do I have more than enough that I didn’t notice before?

—Why am I so abundant that I didn’t notice before?

8) You can repeat as many rounds as possible and generate your own list of intentional statements

9) Finish up with a last round of breathing (refer to steps 1 through 3). Leave the eyes closed and just sit quietly for 10 minutes or longer, if possible. Be okay with whatever thoughts or images comes through because they are leaving.

10) When ready, you can open your eyes slowly. If it is already bedtime, then just lie down comfortably and go to bed.

11) Practicing the rituals of meditation and relaxation on a regular and consistent basis increases focus and clarity, supports a sense of peace and joy, and increases confidence in self.

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With love and gratitude,

Celeste Amaya, MD