Physician Healer

Issue 10 Storyteller

Storyteller

We are all expert storytellers.

What kind of stories are we telling ourselves everyday? What stories did you tell yourself earlier today? What about the story you just told yourself? I came upon this important question posed by Dr. Srikumar Rao. At first, this seemed like a very odd question. I remember thinking to myself,

”What does that really mean? I don’t tell stories to myself. I always tell myself the way things are. I may be my own worst critique, but at least I always tell myself the truth.” Do we really?

According to Rao, we tell ourselves untrue stories every second of everyday and we don’t even know it. Our perception of the world around us is based on what goes on between our ears. Our emotions—whether we are happy or sad, peaceful or chaotic—are based on the stories we tell ourselves. I have mentioned in previous newsletters that suffering does not begin when an event occurs. Suffering actually begins the moment we label an event as “bad” or “good.”

Many of us have experienced situations in which at the time a specific event happened we are devastated, feeling as though the world has ended only to learn at a later date that the horrible thing turned out to be the best thing that could have happened. So, how do we know how to judge things that happen at the moment? What do we do? How do we then emotionally handle situations that seem terrible at the time? Do we just ignore our feelings? How do we control them?

Perhaps it is not a matter of simply controlling our behavior but to learn to understand where this behavior is coming from and to learn further how the egoic mind (our bodyguard) works and to use tools we know to practice controlling our ego rather than allowing the ego to control us. Maybe instead of blindly believing what the mind is telling us, or instead of aggressively ignoring, or frantically distracting ourselves from the thoughts that come into the mind, we can decide to set them down on the table and evaluate and question their validity. We certainly have the right to ask the ego for evidence.

Remember that nothing is ever bad or good, positive or negative. These are merely subjective labels we place on everything we come across. If we just step back a bit every time we catch ourselves passing judgment and ask instead what’s really happening here, we would realize that every single thing or event we encounter is just part of the terrain of our life’s path, nothing more, nothing less. Once we realize that all events are in reality neutral, we can choose to release judgment and accept whatever shows up without reaction or emotion. As a result, stress and anxiety are averted.

Rao recounts a popular fable which I have shared with patients and clients and has become one of my favorite stories that cleverly illustrates why nothing we encounter in life is ever a simple positive or negative thing. Understanding this fable provides a life lesson that will help you lead a more joyful and peaceful life. The key to a successful life’s journey is to know that things are not happening “to” you but rather “for” you no matter how it seems.

Once there was a father and son who lived on a farm in a rural village. The father considered themselves fortunate for having a roof over their heads, clothes on their back and food on the table. But, he thought how wonderful it would be if they had more money. Maybe he could start a business raising and selling horses he thought.

One day the father decided to buy a stallion; but since he did not have enough money, he asked to borrow money from his neighbors. Once he got the horse, he put him in his gated arena for all to see.

”Oh, you have a gorgeous stallion there we can see,” remarked all the neighbors. “He’s surely going to make you very wealthy.”

The father replied. “Good thing, bad thing, who knows?”

The next day, to the father’s surprise, the stallion broke the lock of the gate and escaped.

All the neighbors told him, “Oh, now you’re going to be poor for sure as you’ve lost your prized horse, plus you still owe us a lot of money.”

The father replied, “Good thing, bad thing, who knows?”

Later that afternoon the father took a walk and soon he spotted his stallion grazing with 10 wild horses. Because they were close by, he rounded them up and led them all back into his farm. With the lock now fixed, the horses would not be able to escape now.

All the neighbors exclaimed, “Your lucky star has certainly been shining upon you. Look at all these horses you found! You’re definitely going to be rich now!”

The father replied, “Good thing, bad thing, who knows?”

Then, early one morning when his son was training the horses, he was thrown off, stomped by one of the horses and broke his leg. Over time, the leg healed crooked.

And, all the neighbors lamented, “Oh, your son was such a handsome lad but now with his deformed leg, he will never find someone to love.”

The father replied, “Good thing, bad thing, who knows?”

Several months had passed and the nearby territories decided to go to war. This prompted the local recruiters to enlist all the sons of all the families.

All the neighbors cried, “Oh, we are so devastated that we will lose our sons but you are so lucky your son has a deformed leg. At least you will have him with you.”

To which the father replied, “ Good thing, bad thing, who knows?” And, the story continues on in this way.

This story illustrates a few points worthy of attention. Firstly, the father maintains his position of neutrality, staying in the present moment. He’s not dwelling in the past with regret or depression nor is he particularly worried about the future. He’s not trying to analyze every event. Although some may regard this fable as too simplistic, it nevertheless provides important lessons we can apply in our everyday lives to make sense of the noise around us.

Things are how they are. Things will become how they will become and none of that would have had anything to do with us. Spiritual literature states that whoever we are or whatever we are at any given point is exactly where we are supposed to be. We don’t really control much of the events around us except how grateful we are for everything, for being alive. You can tell by the sheer number of frustrated people out there, always unhappy with some aspect of their lives, there’s too much work, there’s not enough work, they’re exhausted, they’re not exhausted enough, there’s always something new they gotta get, wishing they were someone else or someplace else, blaming a certain circumstance for their dissatisfaction in life, when all it ever is and was is just their mental chatter, the false tales they’ve been telling themselves all along.

Right this very moment, can you think of something or some event that has been upsetting and was a result of some story you conjured up?

Can you think of other situations in which the end result did not match what you thought it would be at first?

Transformational tasks:

1) Do an experiment. See if you can go for 24 hours without complaining or saying one negative comment about anything or anyone, or to anything or anyone. If you do, start over. 24 hours. Go!

2) Remember that what keeps the stories from being told is how much of your attention is brought to the awareness of what’s going on “right now.” If the mind is going a 100 miles a minute, ask yourself this question out loud,

”I wonder what my mind will show me next.” (Eckhart Tolle)

This remark shifts your awareness to what is present because you are there for the next show, watching and waiting. Inevitably, however, after a few minutes, the mind drifts back to storytelling until you interject with the sentence again or consciously become present.

3) Remember everyday to journal your 5-10 gratitudes, your dreams, next steps to level up your game in life. (Avoid treating your journal like a diary). It is not a collection of your woes. It is specifically structured to be your tool to “imprint” new ways of thinking, to produce brain tattoos (Robin Sharma) of new thought and new ways of doing things, to overwrite the old programs.

4) Remember to incorporate healthy nutrition consisting of organic, non-GMO, and sustainable produce. “Food is medicine.”

5) Appropriate use of supplemental support protocols contribute to total body health.

6) Adequate daily physical activity induces production of helpful brain neurofactors.

7) Daily spiritual practice of yes, the infamous “M” word — Meditation — because just having a belief of something different that is possible is not enough. You have to practice and only through repetition do your beliefs become insights when evidence of your beliefs shows up.

Thanks for reading. See you next week!

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