Physician Healer

Issue 28 Magic

Magic

Today, I sat and listened to the silence, felt the space around me including where my body was located. I made myself aware of the other sounds, the AC turning on and off, the feel of the cool air from it chilling my skin, the sound of the refrigerator behind me, the ticking of the clock on the coffee table in front of me, the neighbor’s dogs barking below, the birds singing outside, and the faint sounds of my breath and heartbeat.

I then paid attention to how each part of my body felt, starting with the toes, the arch, the heel, and on up the body until I reached the top of my head. Recalling that my body by now would be slightly hunched over and squishing my chest cavity, I straightened up for a moment, remembering to draw a slow purposeful breath while expanding my belly to make sure I tracked the inhalation down to the belly for maximum effect before I let the breath out through my mouth, reminding me that this was how we would breathe if we were very relaxed.

I did this today for about 6 hours, give or take 2 hours; and yesterday, I meditated even more, give or take. In fact, come to think of it, in the past 4 weeks, I have had the opportunity to sit with stillness more than I have done in the past 6 months and that is I have been faithful with it giving myself an hour maybe 2 everyday during the past several years. What if I told you that the anxiety made me do it?

For the past month, I have had 18-19-hour days of let’s just call it, “freestyle living,” with whatever hours left dedicated to sleep. This was anything but planned and quite unexpected. Many would envy me this “luxury” but it’s still too soon for me to feel completely lucky about it, as I am still grappling with it, trying to find the reason and meaning behind this “forced and accidental” vacation. I’d basically wake up in the dark of the morning and come out into the living room to begin the sitting. As soon as the sun started to rise, I’d open my eyes and spend a few minutes appreciating the sunrise across the way, behind the tops of the tall trees. And, I’d smile.

Then, returning to the couch to sit, I’d listen to the room I was in, focusing on just the sound of the silence. Afterwards, I would do a short set of stretches, light yoga, and movement exercises and then onward to journal if I remembered any of my dreams, if I had any epiphanies, and whatever flowed into my mind for which I was grateful. Lately, in the last few weeks, I’ve used this time to document synchronicities and “magical” occurrences that seem to defy explanation and logic. You know how sometimes when you look around, you get this feeling that maybe there is something more to this world that is not detectable by our human senses, that these “coincidences” are a little too strangely frequent to be random? Or, some of you may not have noticed at all and that’s ok, too.

In brief, I had been presented with 2 life-changing choices and a decision to be made. (More details to come in future issues) Suffice it to say, both choices were very different. I could already hear my egoic brain making lists of comparisons, the pros and cons, and so on, and as I started to feel the anxiety creep into every cell of my body, I quickly decided that I would stop this nonsensical war in my head and do what I was taught to do—sit in silence or as the cliché goes, “meditate on it.”

After about 2 hours, I opened my eyes and felt nothing. I knew that was ok. Again, when you’ve meditated long enough, you feel as though nothing has happened, but trust me, a lot has happened. It’s just that your standard 5 senses won’t pick up on all that has changed for you and around you in those 2 hours or however many hours you sat. The egoic mind always wants concrete, explainable proof, like the first “Aha” moment and if it cannot repeat it, it tries to convince you that meditation isn’t working and that it is a waste of time. It’s kind of like when you first pop open a jar and you hear that pop from the vacuum being released but after that, you open the jar to retrieve the contents that are still there but without the pop. Or, how about opening a new bag of chips and that delectable aroma just fills the atmosphere but thereafter, the contents are still quite enjoyable but there is no longer that blast of delight.

Sometimes evidence doesn’t show up in the 5 sensical world; you can’t always see, hear, feel, touch or taste your way through understanding something. There is a term called the “6th sense” of which most of us are familiar. It can be referred to as the magical sense. It involves a “non-tactile feeling” experienced in the core of our existence that there is something else, some other that is not of this world. This sounds almost sinister, but it is anything but. Sometimes we refer to this as a sense of “knowing,” labeled a sense because the feeling is difficult to describe and fleeting at best when we feel this. Some have defined this simply as intuition or gut feeling, which seems to be more relatable and accepted.

As I mentioned earlier, after sitting still for a couple of hours, without any profound revelation, I got up and walked over to the sink to wash the dishes when suddenly this “woosh” came over me, went through my head and chest, and this scene of standing with a small group of people came into my memory but the weird thing was that it wasn’t a memory because it never happened, at least not at that moment, yet my mind saw it as a memory. That visual was accompanied by an overwhelming sense of peace, comfort, love and goodness and the entire experience lasted only a second, if that.

No sooner had I sat down, the phone rang to arrange a meeting of sorts later that afternoon. I didn’t think anything more of the strange incident until the next day when the image I saw in my mind was the meeting that I attended later that day, everyone positioned as they were in my “future memory.” I’m still floored by what happened. Is this the magical “download” from the universe or “higher intelligence” that personal growth literature describes when you are more consciously aware and connected to the world around you?

In these last few weeks, I’ve also been able to catch up on my reading and as much as the authors all talk about the importance of being present and to avoid lingering in the past and future, I came to the conclusion that everything is ok in moderation. Just today, as I was coming out of meditation, I thought about the time when my parents just bought their very first house in South Pasadena, CA. My brother and I were very young at the time. I remember feeling very excited and so were my parents. I remember we were together and happy.

I remember visiting the site as the house was being built from the ground up and these excursions were one of the few times our parents let us drink soda. We had our pick of strawberry or orange Crush, 7 Up and Dr. Pepper. My mind then gently drifted to afternoons or evenings after dinner when my mom would sit at the family room dining table, pull out 2 chairs, sit on one and prop up her feet on the other and open one of her Chinese novels. She loved to read. Sometimes the TV would be on because the rest of us were watching, but sometimes my dad would be at the table dosing with his arm supporting his dosing head.

I remember we had all these fruit trees in the backyard—white peaches, Santa Rosa plums, apricots, and nectarines, and you had to walk up a little hill to where my dad had planted them. Every year we had so many peaches we’d bag them for all of our neighbors in the cul de sac which became a tradition every year. We always felt so lucky that our fruits were so sweet, the juices that flowed were like honey. And, from the wall that was below the trees, my brother and I would climb and jump down onto the grass, he pretending to be the 6 Million Dollar Man and I, the Bionic Woman, both were the popular TV programs of the day.

After reminiscing, I realized that the egoic mind isn’t all that bad. Historically, it has had a bad rap according to many of the personal growth and present moment teachings. I believe we are shaped by every event, every relationship, every up and down, and every success and failure; and, we grow from all of that. We continue to grow everyday and we never stop growing until the last day on earth. Whenever I am nervous, anxious, angry, sad or frustrated, I know it is the ego calling out fear to me. It is hard to believe that all negative emotions stem from one thing—fear. When this happens to me, I just stop whatever I am doing and just breathe.

Then, I sit comfortably somewhere, close my eyes, and I hear the noise, see the stories. Bring it all on. Because, once everything is seen, once the fear is confronted, it falls away and leaves. Don’t run from it. Fear distorts our judgment, makes us angry and resentful when there is no reason for it, makes us sad and disappointed when there is no reason for it, makes us embarrassed and ashamed when there is no reason for it. All fear disappears when we sit with it and this is guaranteed every single time without exceptions. Fear can only disappear away from us, not within us.

And, so I spent a few long minutes remembering some really great times growing up amongst the others and felt grateful for those moments. Once I sensed these memories wanted a sleep over, I went back to focusing on the present moment, the vast space, the peace of the now. Good memories, no matter how good, can never take the place of something even grander happening in this very moment. This is important to remember.

It is said that the world around us mirrors who and what we are. Whenever we see hatred and injustice in others, it is because we possess that within us. Whenever the people around us seem angry or resentful, it is because we have those traits within us. What we see in front of us is a reflection of who we really are, whether we like it or not. That is why when we change, through meditation (fortunately or unfortunately), we have a deeper understanding as to who we are when we release our fears and egoic illusions and judgments. When our internal world changes, the old group of people leaves our circle and a new group finds us. Our world is our mirror.

Magic, I discovered, is everywhere. It is within all of us and without. It is intrinsically a part of the abundance that we already are. It is interwoven in the answers and solutions we already are. It plays in our memories and thoughts of the future. Magic, however, wields its most impressive power in the present moment, whenever we are sitting quietly, listening to the silence, being aware of the space we’re in, just existing without a name, a past or future, just creating, innovating, realizing our individual potential to contribute to the world around us.

Equation for a Life of Ease: Meditation = Magic

Meditation/Relaxation Tips

1) Whatever length of time you have to sit is additive or cumulative and it is directly proportional to the results you will receive

2) The longer you’ve been meditating, the less you will have of those “Aha” moments, but the results will be evident, subtle at first, and then magical living ensues

3) Last time, we reviewed purposeful deep belly breathing, a sign to give the body and the mind that you are in a relaxed state. Shallow chest breathing creates anxiety and vice versa. Again, belly breathing is following the inhalation down into the belly, expanding the belly outward and then exhaling through the mouth

4) Box Breathing is also effective in calming during stress. This is also referred to as Navy SEAL breathing. You inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, exhale for 5 seconds and hold for 5 seconds. The length of time in seconds can be shorter or longer, if desired

5) Last article we learned about the Meridian Therapy point in the chest area next to the breast bone and under the collar bone. A second point that is easy to remember is the blade area of the hand or also called the karate chop area. Using either the palm or the 4 fingers of the L hand, gently use repetitive pressure or tapping movement on the blade area of the R hand, and then switch hands after 10 seconds (can be less or more)

6) Now that you have both the chest and hand points, you can alternate between the 2 while saying the following intentional questions. Questions phrased this way do not allow the egoic mind to generate a negative answer (remember that you can compose your own words, too):

—Why do I feel so peaceful that I didn’t notice before?

—Why do I feel so relaxed that I didn’t notice before?

—Why is my day going so well that I didn’t notice before?

—Why am I so lucky now that I didn’t notice before?

—Why am I so happy now that I didn’t notice before?

—Why am I so abundant now that I didn’t notice before?

—Why am I so energetic now that I didn’t notice before?

—Why am I so healthy now that I didn’t notice before?

—Why am I surrounded by so much love that I didn’t notice before?

Finally, as always, remember to journal your dreams, gratitudes, and plans that offer something new and fulfilling in your life. Modify your comfort zone by adding something new perhaps, a new project, a new book, a new skill. If you are compelled to write something negative, follow it with an idea for a next step that can turn that negativity into a possibility.

Thank you for reading. See you next time!

With love and gratitude,

Celeste Amaya, MD